(Aired on NPR's Weekend Edition, Saturday October 13th, 2007)
It can give us the power to face life with an unworldly optimism, or make us harbor feelings of hatred. But love is something different. Religion may provide rules for relationships, but can it control what we feel inside our hearts?
That’s the question I explored during the three days I spent with a polygamous Muslim family in San Diego. For over 15 years, Ali, who prefers to only use his first name, has been religiously married to Hasanah and Asiila. Their ideas about love and family are so different from mainstream American society, yet their model works for them. In this 11 minute radio piece, we found out why.
*images and last names were witheld for sources' anonymity
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Mary, 2007-10-13 10:37:28 -- Flag for review
This is truly one of the most original and well-done pieces that I've heard on the radio in a long time. I know very little about life in Muslim polygamous families, so I really appreciated the way you gave the family plenty of room to tell their own story--rather than taking a heavy-handed and judgmental approach.
Great sound, too.
Aunties Elaine & Alice., 2007-10-14 18:19:26 -- Flag for review
Dear Pauline:
Your pieces are so beautiful and interesting. Thanks for sharing them with us!
Love ya!
amana, 2007-10-14 20:08:49 -- Flag for review
Salaams THATS MY EXTENDED FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SHOWING THE WORLD HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE!!!!!!! I FELT HOME AGAIN. I LOVE YOU BABA ASIILA AND HASSANAH
amana
Loraine Mirza, 2007-10-14 23:49:12 -- Flag for review
Dear Pauline,
As a former Broadcast journalist on KPFK Pacifica Radio who pioneered in hosting and producing programs about Islam and Muslims, I want to thank you for your very fine and balanced story on Islam and polygomy. The family you chose was so intelligent and charming and that you avoided a sensationalist approach to the topic is commendable. What a delight this was for someone like myself who has had to overcome so much jaundiced reporting about Islam and Muslims. Thank you again. I look forward to hearing many more of your stories.
Best wishes,
Loraine Mirza
Los Angeles, CA
M. Combal, 2007-10-16 14:49:50 -- Flag for review
Pauline's work is an example of thorough reporting on a subject rarely treated.
John-Michael Battaglia, 2007-10-17 12:04:30 -- Flag for review
Some American Muslims Practicing Polygamy
NPR Weekend Edition, October 13, 2007
NPR's story on polygamy in Islam was nicely told, but it provided no historical understanding of this religious practice, so it completely missed the point.
As a former Peace Corps Volunteer who spent four years in the Islamic country of Malaysia, my understanding of Islam informs me that Mohammed was a very practical leader who embedded pragmatic practices within his
religious doctrine to ensure the survival and growth of his new religion in the war-ravaged desert region where it was created --way back in the seventh century.
For example, when he noticed that his people were dying at an alarming rate after eating improperly cooked pork, in a region where there was no firewood he simply declared the pig to be an "unclean" animal, and he
banned his followers from eating pork altogether. Similarly, in order to more quickly re-populate his devastated armies with soldiers, he allowed men --more likely, he encouraged men-- to father children with
four wives concurrently for the good of the growing Islamic nation. From his perspective, it was wiser to have four buns in the oven at the same time, rather than just one.
However, as with many religious doctrines which have long outlasted their original purpose, the impetus for polygamy which had triggered Mohammed's practices back in the seventh century has long since been replaced by
self-serving rationalizations --like the male need to have sexual dominion over the female-- that no longer have anything to do with the pragmatic reasons for starting the practice in the first place.
John-Michael Battaglia
Buffalo, NY
Naimah, 2007-10-22 14:55:22 -- Flag for review
IThis was a nice look into a day in the life of a polygamist muslim famliy thank you all for sharing:)
To this guy Mr. Battaglia, eating pork being haram and being allowed to have up to 4 wives I believe is stated in the quran ( NOW SOMEONE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG) The quran was not written by The Prophet, It was Allah (swt) who said these things Now someone out there more knowledgeable please step in at anytime and help me out here.
Imani bintal Garner, 2007-10-27 17:27:39 -- Flag for review
Salaams and Greetings:
Mr. Battaglia is one who finds it easier to justify and intellectualize (and not very well) why 'those' people behave the way they do rather than believe that their behavior is based on divinely inspired instructions from the Creator of us all. Living amongst Muslims for 4 years hardly makes one an expert, especially if there is no belief. If all types of faith based tradition is considered quaint, and no longer valid in this day and age one can't help but try to explain them in sanitized, ego and ethno-centric terms---as if human behavior has really changed all that much in 1000's of years.
among other things, it is GOD who is pragmatic.
Not eating pork did not start with Prophet Muhammad. Moses didn't eat it, nor did Jesus. Is it not possible that the creator of the pig simply gave all Prophets (124,000 according to Islam) the information to pass on to mankind that it was not for consumption, period? I believe a lot of scientific evidence points that out as well.
Many non-Muslims don't fully grasp how important marriage is in Islam. A hadith (saying of the Prophet) says it's "half the deyn," or half the way of life. Single, celibate life is highly discouraged as it creates imbalance physically, emotionally, mentally, metaphysically, psychically and socially. Sexual relations are illegal and sinful outside of marriage but within marriage, sex is a beautiful, loving form of worship...
Polygyny, just like monogamy, has been around as long as people exist, and always will be...the fact is, the number of men vs. women, wars, helping orphans can be helped with polygyny, but they are not the only reasons men marry more than one woman, nor why some women prefer to share good men. Different 'types' of marriage is necessary to address all parts of the human condition, to include the fact that men often fall in love with more than one woman, and circumstances dictate that it is better for him to marry them all. Or that some woman prefer the idea of an extended family with "sisterwives" and a good man. Islam recognizes these scenarios--and others-- (as well as judaism and christianity whilst we're on the subject). Islam regulates it.
"Monogamy only" will NEVER work for all the situations human being find themselves in.
The fact is monogamy and polygyny are valid and equal forms of marriage and polygyny is not always and automatically oppressive to women. It's amazing how hard it is for many 'intellectuals' to get that.
In peace,
Imani bintal Garner
Anonymous, 2007-12-28 15:11:50 -- Flag for review
Neria Wolf, 2008-06-04 02:08:48 -- Flag for review
This was a beautiful and insightful piece of reporting. Very sensitive and gentle, it was obvious to me Ms. Bartolone did not wish to promote nor condemn the practice and she succeeded very well. As a Polyamourist I can also argue that the rational that men "need" sexual control of their women is just that, a rational and a justification. I love two men and neither wishes to control or be controlled so the assumption cannot be universally applied. People are not made in factories and cut out of cookie dough, we are different and our paths to God(dess) are as varied and shine as brightly as any diamond held to the light of truth. Indeed to quote from the article: ""Love is one of those things that is not finite. The more you give, the more you have, it actually increases. The blessings come."
-Asiila, second wife in a Muslim polygamous family
Blessings to you all and continued happiness to the family in the article and all their far flung relatives,
~Neria